Pressure, pushing down on me…

Something pretty discouraging happened this week. It seems like no matter what I do, I can never improve or do well on my university essays or assignments. I try so hard, spend so much time on them but I always do something wrong. I don’t know if I’m putting too much pressure on myself but there is so much that I need to do so that I can do what I want to do, or what I think I want to do, in the future.

I need to pick up my grades to get into a masters program. But is it more than that? My friends are doing well, so do I want good grades to look good when compared with my friends? Or do I want to look to myself? Maybe I’m putting so much pressure and expectations on myself that I can’t reach it.

I have this dream of becoming a physiotherapist but I need an acceptable back-up plan that will also make me happy. It’s okay to not get into what you think is your place to be because there are other things that you can fit into. I love the idea of other occupations and nothing is concrete anyway. I don’t even know when I’m going to graduate, because it sure ain’t happening on time! When I graduate I will only be 21 so there’s time to decide where I am going to go and decide what I need to go there.

I have put so much pressure on myself to know what I want to do that I can only be disappointed with myself. I can never live up to my own expectations.

So once you realize that you put too much pressure on yourself, how do you stop?

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2 thoughts on “Pressure, pushing down on me…

  1. The path you are thinking you want will probably not be the one you end up on. When I graduated at 21, I moved to NYC wanting to be in PR. One thing led to another. An internship here, a job there. Now 7 years later I am in digital strategy. Trust me, the path is never paved the way we want it. And that is fine. Actually, that is great. That is where life happens.

    Maybe you have too many deliverables and too much workload to focus? So basically you are setting yourself up for mediocre rather than acing one specific subject. Perhaps next semester, reduce the number of classes you have, say from 6 to 5 classes. And don’t compare yourself to your friends. Everyone is different and there will alway be people better and worse than you. Best of luck and enjoy the ride!

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