I am slightly nervous with writing this post. I don’t know the reactions I should expect but it’s something interesting I noticed and wanted to explore more of. Anyway…
A crazy situation happened today that made me realize something. I met someone new at school and when we were ‘small talking’ I noticed how much I said ‘little white lies’ to improve my story. Obviously nothing significant, but it’s crazy how easily I chose to lie or change my story. Is it to sound more interesting? Be more attractive? And if that is the case, is to sound more interesting to the other person, or is it for me?
Now I probably won’t see this person again, but just imagine if I did or if we became close friends. If we become close friends, than they wouldn’t know the real me. And just imagine the humiliation if my ‘lies’ don’t hold up.
Is it because I want my life to be different? If I was more confident would my conversations and interactions be different?
I read this really interesting quote by Friedrich Nietzche. He said: “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” So what makes us feel the desire to lie and can you stop. Is it possible to never lie? So I did some research:
When do we lie?
1. We lie to cover up our own errors.
2. We lie to shift out blame from ourselves.
3. We lie to get our own way.
4. We lie to be nice.
5. We lie to make oneself feel better.
All in all, we usually lie to benefit ourselves. Even if it is just “no, you don’t look fat in those pants”. We lie to stop embarrassment from creeping up on us, but the truth is that with lying we are more capable and give ourselves more opportunities to be embarrassed.
So I thought of something simple that may help me stop lying. I snap my fingers or cross my fingers whenever I feel I’m in a conversation where I feel like I will/can say a ‘little white lie’. Just being able to realize when I want to lie helps to realize that I can choose to not to. And then I end up being my own interesting self.
I know this may be a silly topic or it just seems to be not that big of deal but if I’m looking to improve myself, then I want to improve all of me. And to be a desirable friend. I want to improve all of me and be a trustful, happy and confident person. Or, it may be just some food for thought.
Here is maybe a more drastic look on lying but some interesting food for though.
TED Talk: “How to Spot A Liar”