Ever since I was a teenager I have always had self-confidence issues, which in turn affects my motivation and independence. I wanted to start this “segment” where I can give people out there, who are also going through this, a type of inspiration, motivation and an understanding to these situations. In this post, I don’t want readers to feel like I’m trying to get sympathy, because I know many people, even close friends that have had more difficult experiences with self-confidence than me. I also want to make sure that you understand that I’m not a professional, but I’m just making these comments from my own experiences. I want to write how I am presently going through these changes and improvements and maybe it can inspire. But also it will also help me to write it out and realize how far I’ve come, just as reassurance. It’s always a perfect time to think about the issues and to face them, since it’s so close to New Year’s! But remember: you don’t necessarily need New Year’s to start over or start something new. It comes from the power you always have.
To be honest I have tried a counsellor, which helped a lot but I also found that part of it, or even most of it, has to come from you. There are many things that I found difficult to do (I will talk about these specifically in posts to come!). Errands that are simple, like grocery shopping, I found difficult because I had this type of paranoia that people were always staring and/or judging me. This paranoia caused many panic attacks that stopped me from doing anything. It affected my independence and really bruised my confidence in everything else, like hanging out with friends. I would just shut myself in my room because I lost confidence in everything and new that I wouldn’t be judged in my own little “sanctuary”. However, I learned and realized how this can be more destructive than safe. The help of the counsellor and from my family and friends really made me try to do things by myself again. I started slow and now I’m learning to push myself even further.
I learned to motivate myself, which comes with an increased level of self-confidence. But I also realized how it’s not always motivation that you need, it’s determination to just do it. The determination to not let those negative thoughts get into you mind and convince you not to do them. Don’t get me wrong, I still find some things very difficult to do however just having the determination to change things is a step. From that I can, and you can, do everything and anything. Finally, the feeling of accomplishing small goals and the feeling of doing things that you knew you used to be scared of, but now you are facing head-on, is so empowering. It’s like a high you can never get over.
So if I can give you anything that will help you to get started, it’s strength. Strength that you can believe that you can accomplish anything. And strength to realize that anything is possible. Strength to understand that it’s not your fault and this self-destructive feelings can affect anyone and you are completely capable of overcoming them. And strength to reach out, even if it’s someone who you don’t know, for help or even just positive vibes.
I send all of you my positive vibes and my love.