Fear.

I had a little bit of a revelation today. At first I thought it was a little bit depressing but then I also realized that it is not because it is also redeemable.

I realized that I fear so many more things now. It is not that dramatic, but I realized how I was just totally fearless when I was little. I would jump off cliffs into water or just dive in no matter how cold it is, I would down-hill ski straight down with no snow-ploughing technique, etc. etc. But now, it takes me 10 mins to get into a lake because of the temperature, and I don’t ski/snowboard anymore, at all. I’m wondering if my ultimate fear of getting hurt or feeling pain is taking control or is just getting too big. And I don’t want it to anymore. I want to start doing things that scare me again, not only for the fact that I’m getting over and beating the fear, but after I do it, I love the feeling of conquering something. I need to stop the controlling factor of my brain that makes me think of only the bad things that can happen when I do something, where as I should just do it because it will be fun.

So I’ve decided to make a list, that will be constantly growing, of some small and some big things that I need conquer. I will write the first couple of my ideas here but I will also love to hear some of your ideas that will push me from my comfort zone.

1. headstands – I used to do this and cartwheels all the time and since I’m starting yoga again I should start practicing

2. go skiing – I’m going home for Christmas this year, perfect opportunity

3. go travelling – I’ve always loved travelling and I miss it, but I don’t have anyone to go with but I need to go anyways and make my own plans

Do you have any ideas of things that I can do? Let me know, I would love to conquer as many things as possible!

But also, let me know if you found that this has or is happening to you and what you decided to do about it.

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